The Thrill of Victory

Beyond the Peach State

The Florida Man GamesWatch — or dare to compete in — the zaniest new athletic competition this side of the Everglades.

We’ve all seen the headlines, and the competition to determine which one is the most absurd is fierce:

Florida man tries to evade arrest by cartwheeling away from cops.

Florida man arrested while trying to get into a police car to threaten someone.

Florida man drives stolen truck to Space Force base to warn of a battle between aliens and dragons.

Florida man learns hard way he stole laxatives, not opioids.

Florida man trapped in an unlocked closet for two days.

Florida man Googles self to find out which Florida man he is.

Now’s your chance, however, to see these guys in action for yourself at the inaugural Florida Man Games.

The event was inspired by the Sunshine State’s reputation for its offbeat news stories that typically feature wild police chases, guns, drugs, reptiles – or some combination of the aforementioned instruments of chaos and commotion.

According to the website, “The Florida Man Games is where the bizarre meets brawn and sanity is optional. This isn’t just a competition; it’s a one-of-a-kind Floridian spectacle.”

No wonder organizers call the event “the most insane athletic showdown on Earth.”

Florida-Style Obstacle Courses
Truthfully, athletic prowess also may be optional for the competition that was dreamed up by St. Augustine resident and media outlet owner Pete Melfi. As if hurricane season has blown into Florida early this year, however, the games are bound to take the state by storm.

After all, with the Florida-style obstacle courses that the contestants must master, the games will resemble a veritable sanctioned crime spree as competitors vie for the coveted gator head trophy.

The event includes the Weaponized Pool Noodle Mud Duel, where adversaries test their strength inside a massive above-ground pool called the Florida Man Games Colosseum.

In the Evading Arrest Obstacle Course, “escapees” jump over fences and run through yards with actual sheriff’s deputies hot on their heels.

With the Category 5 Cash Grab, Florida men can scoop up easy money as they battle hurricane-level gusts in a wind-blowing booth while they scramble to catch as much real cash as they can.

Wannabe wrestlers will try to blast their opponent out of the ring in the Beer Belly Florida Sumo.

In another opportunity to live a day in the life of a Florida man headline, rivals square off head-to-head in a race with two bikes and a handful of copper pipes in the Race Against Time with a Catalytic Converter.

Two former stars of the 1990s TV show American Gladiators, Dan “Nitro” Clark and Lori “Ice” Fetrick, who also appeared in Netflix’s Muscles & Mayhem, will judge the events.

Fun For All
For those who aren’t part of a team on the main events field, Florida Man Games activities will be available all day long for spectators to challenge each other in their own competitions.

They can try to best each other in contests such as the Mechanical Gator Ride, Florida Sumo, Weaponized Pool Noodles and Obstacle Course. Of course, snapping selfies with alligators will be all but mandatory as well.

Spectators also can soak up Florida culture with alligator shows, datil pepper (Florida’s hot pepper) vendors, SWAT vehicles and more.

Other entertainment – as if any more is required – includes a Mullet Contest, the Florida Ma’am Pinup competition and Chicken Coop Bingo.

Don’t worry if all these fun and games give you a gator-sized appetite. Award-winning pit masters will be on hand to dish out mouthwatering BBQ throughout the day.

The competition will draw to a close with the 911 Fight Night: Brawl of the Badges between police officers and firefighters. In this epic showdown, these public safety heroes clash in an intense battle to prove who’s the toughest behind the badge.

Get ready to rumble, and let the games begin.

If You Go:

What: Florida Man Games

When: 11 a.m. – 10 p.m. Saturday, February 24, gates open 10 a.m.

Where: Francis Field, 25 West Castillo Drive, St. Augustine, Florida

How Much: $45 – $145

More Info:

By Morgan Davis